Why it’s Good to Challenge Your Perspective
Over coffee recently a friend and I discussed a workshop we’d both attended. As we recounted bits and pieces of the presentation, our perspectives were so different on everything from the themes to the attitude of the speaker I began to wonder if we were talking about the same lecture.
It was a great reminder of that old saying, “We don’t see things how they are. We see things as we are.”
It is how we see things, our perspective on life, that determines the meaning we give to all of our experiences and relationships, the choices we make, and how we manage adversity.
The part that creates endless challenges for us is that we tend to assume we are in the right, so someone with a different perspective must be wrong, or at least confused, which often leads to miscommunication and hard feelings.
For most of us, it is extremely difficult to accept the notion that it is possible for two people to have different perspectives and still be correct.
Our perception may reflect our truth, but we need to try and understand that our truth is not everyone’s truth.
Never underestimate the power of gaining a new perspective by simply changing your immediate environment. Going for a walk, reading a book, or talking to a friend can provide you with life-changing insights that you would not otherwise have attained. ~Hal Elrod
Perspective is Everything
The question of whether your glass is half empty or half full is a classic example of perspective.
As a realistic optimist, I tend to side with the outliers and usually respond that I’m just grateful to have a glass, but I accept that each of these perspectives represents a valid point.
How about you?
Imagine that someone has disappointed you, maybe stomped on a personal boundary. Naturally, you’ll feel annoyed, maybe even defensive.
But unless you took the time to clearly communicate the boundary, checked for understanding, and outlined the consequences for failing to honor your request, chances are they just didn’t realize how their actions would affect you.
For another example, imagine that you’re blindsided by an unexpected problem or crisis. It is human nature for your initial (think knee-jerk) reaction to reflect your core beliefs and attitudes, particularly toward uncertainty and change.
If your perspective is grounded in resistance and rigidity, then even if you eventually see a better way to handle whatever challenge you may be facing, you’ll very likely only arrive at that point after experiencing unnecessary stress and loss of valuable recovery time.
The willingness to be flexible and consider different perspectives may be challenging, but it is the surest way to create stronger relationships and more favorable outcomes for whatever circumstances you may face in life.
The Challenge to Broaden Your Perspective
We all like to think of ourselves as open-minded and receptive to new ideas but the truth is once we have assumed a perspective, it is difficult to change it and even harder to recognize the validity of a viewpoint that is different from ours.
We must accept responsibility for a certain amount of stubbornness and desire to cling to the truths that we believe define us, but whether we’re aware of it or not, we also have a tendency to rely on something called confirmation bias.
Confirmation bias is the direct result of the influence of our desires on our belief system. When we want a certain idea or concept to be true, we filter out anything other than information and arguments that favor our beliefs.
Simply put, we only hear what we want to hear.
Can you see the challenge here? Your perspective is the foundation of your reality and the basis for the way you see the world.
If you can muster the courage to accept that your perspective reflects only your own truth, and other people may have an entirely different truth, you will be AMAZED at how this opens a whole new world for you!
It will enable you to view circumstances and people in an emotionally detached way rather than clinging to one side or another, so you no longer see situations in terms of black and white, right, and wrong, good, or bad.
Talk about freedom!
Most of the problems we face in life are not the problem. The real problem is our attitude toward the problem. ~Author Unknown
You Will Be Tested
Possibly the greatest challenge of all is to recognize that sometimes our floor is another person’s ceiling.
This simply means that we each grow at our own pace and go as far as we are prepared (or willing) to go.
You may well be willing to consider if not fully embrace different perspectives, but there are those who are destined to remain firmly rooted in their opinions and will fiercely defend them no matter what the cost.
Understanding that this is a fact of life and that there are times when we need to just accept people the way they are rather than trying to change them to meet our standards and expectations may be one of the most important lessons we have to learn about getting along in this world.
The Takeaway
Our perception of reality is not carved in stone. Life is always changing and shifting.
We may not have the power to change or avoid our challenges, but we always have the power within us to choose our response.
The happiest and most resilient people are willing to admit they don’t have all the answers and understand that sometimes all it takes is a tiny shift of perspective to see something familiar in a totally new light.
Here’s to living and loving your resilient life!